I've never felt this way in my entire life...and you know what, I love it.  Ever since Megan and I talked about everything I've felt more comfortable with my entire situation.

I had so much fun 2 Saturdays ago.  Ah, it was the greatest date I've had in a very long time.  I don't go on many dates anymore so it was very refreshing.  Failure to Launch is the cutest movie! This weekend we're going to see American Dreamz...I'm super excited because the movie should be amazing (stealing megan's favorite word)

I'm getting to hang out with my lil sis today. I haven't gotten to do that in awhile, so I'm super excited...Anna's coming too which is cool. I love both those kids!  We're going to see Take The Lead because Antonio Banderaz is hott, and I wanna see him dance! Oh my gosh, I love to dance, it's so much fun! Noel couldn't dance, but he tried! It was adorable! Kyle is by far my favorite dance partner ever though! We have such good Chemistry on the dancefloor it's unbelievable...you know what I'm talking about if you've ever seen us together.  Gah, I haven't gotten to dance in awhile though...I miss it.  Damn my 8 o'clock class.  Maybe I'll get to dance a lil bit tonight though....tonight should be romantic as well...I'm looking for ward to a good night.

School is so much better this quarter.  My math class is giving me trouble, but it can all be worked out.  Gah, I don't know why I have to be so bad at math.  I hate being retarded at things.  I feel stupid, even though I  know I'm not.  It happens to everyone sometimes...but my problem is I like to be good at everything.

AHHHHH!!! I just wanted to do that.

I miss my dad.  I know I should go see him more.  I feel bad, but he knows that I'm in college and don't get much time to do that 5 hour drive one way.  Oh well, this summer will be a different story.  Gah, I love my daddy more than anyone in the entire world.  There's only one person I could even put close to him and he's my favorite person in the entire world!

College is funny...you wait your whole life to get here because you think it's some kind of big deal, but it's really not.  It's the same as everything always seems to be.  I like the living without my parentals thing and the freedom thing, but other than that it's just school.  I'm ready to move in with Megan.  Damn, that girl is my best friend.  We're going to have so much fun living together.  It's gonna be off the chizain...yeah, I'm ghetto gangsta like that.

I like my job sometimes, and then sometimes I hate it. It's cool we get the kick ass discount, and every once and awhile eventually Megan and I will get to work together.   I guess it's cool though that our bosses are never around, but then again it sucks closing... I really hate doing that.  There are some really sweet people that work there though...

I'm happy. Life is good. All is well, I love you!

There are some things in life I don't understand and never will,but I think I'm okay with that.  I feel like I've written this post before.  I probably have.  I have the same thoughts all the time running thru my head.  I wish I could get rid of them, but I won't fully let go  until he's out of me, and he never will be.

Love is a bitch.  I guess that's why girls/women fall into the trap so easily.  Was that incredibly hateful?  I didn't mean for it to be, but I made fun of myself in that statement too.  I don't know...don't care either so bite me.

I'm at my apartment alone on a Saturday night and I'm going to bed after I finish this post.  I've done homework for the past 2 hours, and I haven't eaten all day.  Today was incredibly unproductive, and I don't like these kinds of days.  The days that drag on for no particular reason where you feel like not doing anything although there are things you know you should be doing.  Yes, that is me today.

Last night sucked a huge one as well. St. Patrick'sDay....whoopidie friggin' doo.  I'm sure I'm going to spell a lot of things wrong so deal with it.

I'm being extremely negative and that's not me.  It's not my intention so don't read too much into it.  I love you all, I do.

I swear by it.  I do.  Believe me...whiskey is the cure for anything, especially Old Charter, but it won't cure me of this...as much as I drown myself in it lately...it hasn't helped.

Is there anyone out there?

I like these things:
sittin' on the balcony with music, alcohol, conversation, and the occasional cigarette
all the photos
the laughs
the smiles
the hugs
the handshakes, although there aren't many because we bring it in for the real thing
the phone calls
the people I spend my life with here in Ruston
Ya'll are my everything, even though I don't think ya'll really know it.

i'm blah.

I must admit that I have a major "jones" for young guys that look older....I like extremely hairy men with receeding hairlines....that's me!  I know that' s crazy,but that's what I like.

I don't like looking at old photos lately.  I'm missing people too much.   People that should enter my memory,b ut there shouldn't be a longing for them because they are in better places now.  Being with me wouldn't help.

I'll Be by Edwin McCain is my favorite song of all time.  Collide by Howie Day and You and Me by Lifehouse come very close to it, but none can top it.  Tiny Dancer is my 2nd favorite song of all time.  Am I cliche?  I think no.  However, you can't judge me.

I don't like not being able to have everything I want.  That's life though...Now that I think about it the above comment is very selfish and bratty, but everyone thinks this at some point in their life.  Mine just comes into play more now, because the one I want I can't have back at this point in life.  It kills me inside.  I'm slowly dying from the inside out, but I don't think anyone can see it all yet.  Or at least I hope they can't.

I worry about my friends.  I'm more likely to fuck up than the rest, and they are fucking up all around me, and I don't fell like I'm doing anything to help them.  Am I a bad person for that?

Am I a bad person in general?

I want nothing more than to be completely happy like I was only 3 months ago.  Why the fuck can't I ever get thrown a bone?

Forget it.

Picture post...this is my Tech Family!

Me and Natedog! 

Me and Adam!

Me and Bonnye drinking Yo Mamas!  It's one of my specialties!

Bonnye after she drank too many Sunshines...my most potent invention.

Daniel and Gary!!!

Dustin!

Ah, well, I can't really explain this one...I like it though!

Me and Ari! This is a wonderful picture!

Me and Brad! That's my boy! 

Me and Megan!

This is the married couple!  Me and my husband Worm!  It's he adorable!

That's right...you know how I do.

Paden...my queerbait!  Aw, how sweet!

Well, these are just a few! I will have more later on.

This is my family. The people I can't live without. They make every day better!

Yeah, and what was once all falls on me.

I need to quit drinking, but I can't.  It doesn't consume me, but it's an everyday thing.  I'm starting to get a little worried.  Actually, I'm just having fun.  It's all good.  No, but really, should I worry?

Screw the past. You can't change it.  I wouldn't change you.  I can't. I won't think on it for a minute.  You complete me though, as we've proven so many times before!  You make me come alive...

My friends are wonderful.  We are family.  It's my Tech family!  I should show you pictures!...

I don't ever do this anymore.  I honestly think that it has gotten old.  Or maybe it's that I'm addicted to myspace and facebook.  Who knows~

This quarter sucks for me grade wise.  I've mad a ton of new friends though, and I've met Paden.  He is wonderful.  Even after I told him not to get me anything for Valentines Day he still did...a monkey and ole charter...now that's my kind of guy!  Anyway, he's really sweet and a good friend.  I like hanging out with him.

Well, this might be the last update for awhile.  I'm going to be pretty busy.  But we'll see.